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Writer's pictureConner Pabst

No Presents Please!

We don't buy our kids presents. No birthday presents, no Easter presents, no Thanksgiving presents, and no Christmas presents.

Before you start thinking "How could you ever do that?!" hear me out.




You've been to birthday parties where the kids all line up and watch the birthday boy or girl open up all their presents. What a miserable time for everyone. Seriously. You see the sweet parents asking the other kids to sit down and stay out of the birthday girl or boy's face. You see the birthday kid get all excited tear open a gift and then what? They throw it to the side and immediately ask for another one. This process repeats itself for what feels like hours, and honestly sometimes is hours! After the birthday kiddo has opened all the presents then they do either two things:

1. Is that it? There are no more presents? (Yes, my children have said this before. Que complete mom shame!)

2. They move on. They go run around and play with their friends!


Now yes, I know that when they get home from the party they are super excited and open up all their new toys but then what? They play with the new toys for a few weeks and then they are quickly forgotten about.



So what, Intentional Thee, you're saying I shouldn't buy my kids birthday presents and tell everyone not to get them anything?


YES. That is exactly what I am telling you!

It is your job as parents to raise your children up in the way they should go. Why teach them that they deserve gifts for every holiday and on their birthday! No, I am not saying you can't ever buy your kids presents. It is okay to splurge here and there on toys! I'm saying it is not okay for them to find their joy in material possessions. Think about it for a second. When you're happy, sad, angry--you tend to buy new things because you think those things will get rid of the emotion you're feeling.

Does it?

Sometimes temporarily you'll feel better but then that emotion shows it's ugly head again and again. The process continues and the debt piles up. Why would you want this life style for your kids? So you're saying--if I buy my kids presents on holiday's and their birthday then I am laying the foundation of love and craving of material possessions?

Sadly, it could be but there's a bigger problem here. You are spending hundreds of dollars a year on material possessions when you should be giving them your time, love, and attention. In the end will your child remember the Hulk toy you spent $50 on for their 4th birthday? Probably not. Will they remember the laughs, hugs, and smiles from the date night you took them on for their 4th birthday? You can answer that question.



Back to the parties!!

--Wait, didn't you pay for the party too? The average cost of a birthday party in America is $500. Y'all I know for a fact I've spent that and much more before!


I'm about to rock your socks off. Sit down, seriously!


Instead of buying your kids stuff why didn't you gift them experiences?!


--You're mind is blown right now, I know. Take a minute to process this concept while I explain it.


Think about it. If instead of buying your kids presents and your kids receiving presents on their birthday what if everyone gifted an experience instead? An experience can be anything!

--Movie tickets --Gift cards

--Restaurant Gift Cards --Date Day

--Putt Putt Golf --Mini vacations

--Board Games (to be played together)


Y'all this is a game changer. Instead of teaching your child that happiness comes from stuff this concept teaches them that happiness comes from time spent with others. Have you ever taken your child on a date day?! If you have then you know how much their face lights up and how excited they are to just be spending time with their parent. Have you ever turned off the TV and sat down on the floor and played with your kids? You can see the biggest smile and pure joy.


They want your time and your attention. Not your money.



You might be thinking, well people don't really want to gift experiences. To that I say crap!

All humans need and crave an amount of quality time. We want to feel loved, we need to feel loved.


Still struggling? Stop and think about it for a second. The average birthday party in America costs $500+ spending roughly $100 on birthday presents--that's $600 a year on birthday's. Multiply that by 18 years and you've now spent $10,800. Let that sink in. That could be money you are literally throwing away. Remember the whole buy toys for holidays/birthdays kids play with them you donate or throw away.

If your still not on board with the idea of not spending money on birthday's then spend the money---send it directly to their savings account. Please tell me you've started a savings account for your children? If you have no extra money a month.....they why are you spending $600+ on a birthday party every year?


Invest the money you'd spend on a birthday party+presents and watch it grow. Wouldn't that be an awesome 18th birthday present! Here you go sweetie! Instead of throwing you elaborate birthday parties and buying you toys you'd play with twice we invested that money! Here is a check for $20,000! Yes, that money will grow, grow, grow in the stock market!



What do you think? Do you do no present parties? Comment below!

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